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October 20, 2009

The Lord is pulling some serious crap out of me. Or I'm assuming that's what this process is all about.

I've been unemployed for two months now. In this time my life has shown an increasing level of negative pattern. These may be things which some would consider normal, but its not healthy. My personal spiritual life, my community fellowship and discipleship, my leadership with Lisa, and even my efforts to find a job have all been hindered by something in me that doesn't know how to respond correctly in this situation. I have a strong feeling its all something very deep rooted, a remnant from my childhood. I only say this because as this is being prodded at the depths of my insecurities are stirred up. I'm still not sure how this all connects together but its something the Lord is working out, and I trust that, so I'm just going to work on allowing Him to break open the dark parts of my subconscious.

That's it really, I've got big things turning up, and I don't even know what they look like yet, but they are being pulled on and I'm confident they will soon be uprooted.